"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 NIV
I had announced to a few of you in advance about the "coincidental" DNA test my son had to re take with regard to his muscular dystrophy diagnosis. My son had shown signs of this horrible, incurable disease as of a few years ago. The constant falling, inability to climb up and down stairs in a "normal" way, lack of balance and then pain in his muscles etc.. This past fall, several weeks of exams, ultra sounds, ekg's, and blood draws confirmed their suspicions to order a DNA test. The first one comes back positive for a genetic mutation, he is missing dystrophin. The problem that was really developing, was his improvement. You see this disease is incurable, there is no diet, medication or physical therapy that can help its demise.
Amongst his previous symptoms, my son hasn't fallen since october 31/08, he hasn't complained of pain, tiredness or feeling weird in his muscles since november 08. The specialists are shaking their heads asking me what I am doing? My family members, some saved, some not, express doubt in what I am saying. When I explain to the medical professionals, who are prodding me for answers or family and friends, I tell them all I know : It is the Lord, it is my Jesus who has healed my son. No one seems to like my answer.
In April, the Muscular dystrophy doctor at Stanford asked me 3 times what I was doing for my son that he is improved. Finally, the 4th time, I answered," well, do you really want to know?" He says "yes, please tell me so we can help others." I say " The Lord is healing my son" He sits back, smirk on his face, and says," you can think it's a miracle all you want, but there is no such thing as improvement, it is just a temporary plateau before a great demise. Your son is handicap, has signs of Duschenne's and will live a short life." I can't tell you how much this has gone on, the patronizing smirks, the disbelief by other christians, the doubt from family members, the full out mocking for my stance. All I know is what I know: my son has improved and no one can figure it out.
So when Stanford needed another blood sample, I was overjoyed and announced to some of you that I'm sure the test would come back "negative" showing no mutation in his DNA there fore proving to everyone that what I know in my depths is undeniable, evidential truth: my son is healed. The DNA test came back the same as the first one, showing his mutation, his proof if you will of this disease, not negative like I had anticipated. I sat down, disappointed, trying to figure out what my "problem" was with having this test back. It didn't change the diagnosis nor did it change my sons health, everything is still the same. Why was I disappointed then? It was my heart motive, I was tired of being mocked, of being smirked at, doubted, my position rejected. I wanted visible proof for all those that don't believe, even believers!! I wanted to "give it to them", show them, something they can see for themselves. Do you see that? That ugly heart motive, that wrong motive. I had to grasp last night, everyone's Faith walk is between themselves and the Lord, not for me to interfere with. I had to understand, it was Jesus they were mocking, the hand of the living God they were denying, the ability to receive healing from a loving Father they were ignoring. It had nothing to do with me. It's not about me. My heart cries for those that don't see Him like I do, the ones closest to me, yet that is not my responsibility to work out, I had to remember that.
We are all shaken at one point, to see if our faith is true and steadfast. What will it take for yours to be tested, strengthened, or established? All I know is what I know: my son is doing outstanding, defying the odds, living an abundant life despite the death spoken over him. All I know is my God is alive, he has been so merciful to us and is a healing God who has touched my boy. That's the only language that can come forth when I am asked, because that's all I know to tell you. I can only tell you what I see my son doing. Sometimes we try and run ahead of God, working things out for Him, how I must be taught over and over again, to slow down and let Him work it out. This is a hard thing for me to learn. My excitement for the Lord can be easily displaced. It's not about me, it's about Him. The Creator of the universe, the life sustainer, doesn't need my help, what a concept?!
Thank you Father God that you remain to be a teacher, one gentle and wise, loving and merciful. Thank you Lord that you are working my Faith to benefit your kingdom, even though it may be a painful process at times. Thank you Father that we endure all things according to what you have purposed before time, continue to work in me so I can continue to work for you. I love you Lord! ~ Amen
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." Romans 8:28-29